Shepard's Phallic Voyage
by NoThaTerrible
Summary: The commander takes an experimental pill causing his penis to grow to galactic proportions.


**This story is appropriate for all races and nations, but if you are not feeling well, then look at the sun and smile. Feeling better now, right? Good, now enjoy.  
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Shepard had just come back from a tiring battle on Tuchanka, and was very sweaty. He, and his male squadmates, all decided to hit the showers to freshen up.

Wrex was the first to undress. He took off his suit to reveal a gigantic, beat-red penis. It was as thick as a baseball bat and as hard as titanium. He took the leftmost shower and began soaping his asshole.

Garrus was next. Upon the removal of his suit, everyone stared in awe at his mega blue cock. It glowed in the dark a neon-blue color. He took the shower next to Wrex and began lubricating his shlong.

Next up was Vega. His penis was erect 24-7, and it was extremely muscular. You could see the blood flowing through the veins of his cock. He took the rightmost shower.

The Illusive Man then began to undress. His cock had three heads on the end, which caused people to nickname him "Cerberus." He then began to jizz out of each head, causing his splooge to wind up all over Vega's ass. Vega's lubricated ass then proceeded to get ass-rammed by The Illusive Man.

Kaidan Alenko was shy about undressing in front of his squadmates (cuz he's a pussy), so he took a shower in the girl's shower room.

Joker then began undressing, revealing his crippled cock. It was all saggy and was stuck in a permanent "L-Shape" because someone kicked his cock back in pilot school. He took the stall next to Vega.

Finally, the commander himself threw off his pants in ecstasy, revealing a raisin-sized cock. Everyone turned around and saw Shepard's tiny-ass penis. They all then began to laugh at Shepard, calling him "Baby's cock," and "Invisi-penis," and even "Cockgobbler."

Shepard ran off to his cabin, with tears sprinkling down his face. He threw himself down on his bed and began wailing.

"Why was I cursed with such a small penis! Why can't I have a huge one like the rest of the guys! I wish I could grow the biggest penis in the world!"

Shepard then fell asleep, hoping everyone would forget about his penis in the morning.

When morning came, Shepard grabbed a cup of coffee and walked into the lounge. He saw his buddies conversing with the ladies and saw them laughing together. Shepard walked near them and said,

"Morning guys. What's so funny?"

Liara then kicked Shepard's cock-region with tremendous force.

Shepard flinched a bit and said, "W-what'd you do that for?"

Everyone then started crying with laughter.

"HE REALLY DOESN'T HAVE A PENIS IF HE DIDN'T FEEL THAT! BWAHAHAHA!" cried Tali, who fell on the floor from laughing so hard. In fact, she laughed so hard that she had to take off her helmet to breathe, causing her to choke on the air and die.

Shepard then started crying again, so he ran off the Normandy and into the Citadel. He made his way into the Lower Wards and took a seat against the wall. As he sat their crying, he saw a bulky Krogan approaching him.

"Hey, do you have a small fucking penis?" said the Krogan in a husky tone.

Shepard nodded his head and wiped away his tears.

"Well, we're looking for people to test this penis-enhancing drug on. Care to partake in our 'little' experiment?"

Shepard nodded again and stood up. He followed the Krogan to a nearby, secret meth lab. Inside stood a wide array of aliens, each holding a small pink pill in their hands. Shepard was handed a similar pill and was told to wait.

"Okay, everybody, listen up. Just swallow the pill and watch the magic happen. We'll go from left to right, ending with Shepard. Shepard will eat his pill last. Okay, here we go," commanded the Krogan in charge of the experiment.

The first fourteen patients ingested their pill and stuck their hands in their pants, feeling their penises. They all got all giddy and started celebrating. Shepard then swallowed his pill and stuck his hand in his pants. Bingo.

His penis quickly swarmed his underwear and busted through his pants' zipper. He was so excited that he got an erection, causing his cock to knock over a nearby Turian. He couldn't wait to show off his goods to the rest of his crew.

Shepard ran to the Normandy and called everyone to the cockpit. Everyone then stood in amazement at Shepard's gargantuan cock.

"Holy fuck that's huge," said Joker, who couldn't believe what he was looking at, "Shepard, what did you do?"

"I took a pill and my penis grew really fucking big," said Shepard, petting his cock.

"SHEPARD!" roared Wrex, "How dare you steal my thunder! I have the biggest cock on this ship!"

"Not anymore, Wrex," said Shepard, "Now I have the biggest dick."

"Hey, Shepard?" said Liara, blushing, "Mind if I lick your penis?"

"Liara, baby, the pleasure is all mine," said Shepard, pulling down his pants.

Liara then plopped her tongue on top of Shepard's dick. Her tongue stroked a huge vein that ran across the top of Shepard's dick. She traced it back and forth, causing Shepard to ejaculate all over her face. Liara got startled and accidentally bit down on Shepard's penis. Shepard pulled back in pain. He clenched his penis and felt it pulsating.

Suddenly, Shepard's cock began growing at a rapid pace. It fell to the floor and began inching toward's Wrex's feet. Wrex tried stomping on the penis, but it just angered it. The penis then jumped off the ground and forced itself down Wrex's throat. Wrex writhed in pain, but also appeared to be enjoying the penis going down his throat. The penis soon emerged from Wrex's ass and sprouted a blade at the tip. The penis lunged upwards, cutting Wrex's body in half, killing him instantly.

As Wrex's guts spilled across the floor, the crew became panicked. They all ran away from Shepard's cock of doom. As Shepard's cock grew at an exponential rate, EDI began to worry. She warned everyone to evacuate the ship, but it was too late: Shepard locked the ship from the outside so no one could escape.

The first victim on Shepard's list was The Illusive Man (TIM). Shepard's penis detected TIM hiding in a nearby closet. When Shepard opened the closet, TIM screamed,

"I'M A RAGING HOMOSEXUAL FAGGOT THAT LIKES MEN!"

After confessing the truth, TIM keeled over, allowing Shepard's penis to penetrate his asshole. When Shepard removed his dick, he saw that shit covered the head. He wiped it off by smacking TIM's face with the tip of his penis. Once all the shit was gone, Shepard began fellating TIM. TIM then orgasmed so violently that he ripped off his nipples in joy. Now, a constant stream of blood began pouring out of his nipples. He tried licking the blood off his body, but his tongue started to spasm. His tongue then magically transformed into a cock. Yes, TIM now had a cock growing out of his mouth. The cock was so big that he choked on it and died.

Garrus stumbled into the scene and saw what became of TIM.

"Must…calibrate…TIM's…penis…ARGH!"

Garrus then kneeled down next to TIM's head and began sucking the cock that sprouted out of his mouth. Garrus sucked it so violently that sperm began to enter Garrus' mouth. The sperm soon entered Garrus' blood stream, and it changed Garrus' DNA. In seconds, Garus transformed into the Illusive Man. As such, he also sprouted a cock out of his mouth and died from choking on it.

Meanwhile, in another part of the ship, stood Vega, Kaidan, and Mordin. The three were circle-jerking each other, hoping to simultaneously orgasm at the same time. Mordin, however, was allergic to orgasms, and died when he came.

Vega accidentally snapped his cock in half when he bumped it into the wall. He ripped off his hanging dick and rubbed his nipples with it. The blood from his penis trickled down his chest and leaked into his urethra. He got a urinary tract infection and died from pink eye. Scientists say that this all occurred in an estimated time of 69 seconds.

Kaidan stared at Mordin and Vega's dead bodies. He got jealous, so he (being the necrophilia he is) began fucking Mordin's dead corpse. Mordin's asshole was too tight, however, and Kaidan's penis got stuck inside. Kaidan tried wiggling it out, but he soon saw Shepard's penis approaching him

Kaidan began to panic, and realized that the only way to escape was to break off his penis in Mordin's asshole. So he did that and ran away. But he was too slow. Shepard's penis quadrupled in size and caught up with Kaidan. The penis breathed fire (like a dragon) all over Kaidan, burning Kaidan alive like he was a piece of French Toast.

The ladies, meanwhile, were playing bukake in another room. Each one took turns getting pissed on by both Joker and Anderson. Unfortunately, Shepard had to crash the party with his BIG FUCKING DICK. He knocked over everyone in the room like they were bowling pins. Anderson then tried to reason with Shepard by offering to blow his cock. Shepard agreed and allowed Anderson to wrap his lips around the tip of Shepard's dick.

Anderson blew into the hole at the tip of the penis as hard as he could, but his breath backfired, causing Anderson to swallow his own tongue. Anderson clenched his throat in pain and accidentally ripped out his throat. Now, Anderson was limping around the room with blood gushing out of his throat. You could even see his larynx exposed (that's fucking gross). He tried to speak, but, whenever he opened his mouth, his eyes began to pop out of his skull. Eventually, his eyes spilled out of their sockets and fell on the floor. Anderson tripped on a rubber ducky and landed on his eyeballs, causing the Vitreous Humor (eyeball juice for you fucktards out there) to spill out of the eyeballs and onto the carpet. Anderson then sniffed the fluid into his nose and choked on it, causing him to die right there and then.

Liara, who was Shepard's girlfriend at the time, was forced to make out with Miranda. She and Miranda undressed and pressed their enormous tits against each other. They then stuck their tongues in each other's mouth and began making out. Liara grasped Miranda's ass, causing Miranda to moan in joy. Miranda, in return, started to finger Liara's clitoris. When she found the G-Spot, Liara orgasmed so violently that blood started pour out of her nose.

"Keep going!" screamed Shepard, who was masturbating to the scene he was witnessing.

(Hey, reader, do you have a boner yet? No? Keep reading...)

EDI then walked into the scene and was held at gunpoint by Shepard.

"If you want to live, you'll have a threesome with Liara and Miranda," said Shepard, who was still masturbating.

EDI complied and joined in on the fun. She grew an organic pair of breasts and began massaging them in front of the ladies. Milk then spurted out of her breasts and soaked Miranda's hair. EDI then rammed her fist far up Miranda's ass. She drilled it up there until it got stuck.

Liara, who wanted to ratchet things up a notch, used her biotic powers to enlarge her breasts. The breasts swarmed Miranda's face, causing Miranda to suffocate and die.

EDI then moved on to Liara. She tried motor-boating Liara's breasts, but the tits began vibrating so violently in EDI's face that she got a concussion and died.

"Liara, since you are the winner, you get to go for a ride on my cock," said Shepard, patting his penis.

Liara hopped aboard Shepard's dick, and the two flew off the Normandy. Once they got off, Shepard's dick set the Normandy on fire, causing the Normandy to blow up, killing everyone aboard.

Now in the Citadel, Shepard began terrorizing the population with his dick-o-doom. His penis entered the meth lab, that Shepard was previously in, and the penis sucked up all the meth in the room. The penis then grew larger and larger and larger until it bursted out of the meth lab.

Liara accidentally fell off the penis, which hovered 300 feet off the ground at the time, and fell on the ground. She fell on her head, causing her neck to snap. She died instantly.

Soon, Shepard's penis grew so large that it took over the Citadel. Now Shepard was the head of the council, and his first order was to throw a part on Tuchanka.

Everyone in the galaxy met at Tuchanka and they were all eaten alive by both Shepard's penis and by an enormous Thresher Maw. Once all the people were devoured, Shepard's dick ate the Thresher Maw.

The next day, Shepard constructed his own planet made from the flesh of his cock. He named this planet "Cockmongler-ville." Then Shepard ejaculated babies from his penis. The newborn infants resembled penises, and they called this new planet their home. Shepard then raised an army of these penis-babies and took over the Universe with them. When he was done, Shepard leaned back on his penis and said:

"Guess everything ended out okay in the end. Just me, my throbbing cock, and my wonderful cock babies. Life is goooooooooooood."

THE END

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**If you are wants a sequel then just say so and it shall be done.**


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